sa palanan

"muling balikan, alaalang naiwan

muling balikan, kwentuhan at kantahan
tawanan at inuman

sa palanan."

today i write of a friend's departure. i was shocked two months ago when someone told me they were going to migrate to the states. the feeling of separation never really dawned on me until the early hours of monday.

i was the last one inside the Pajero. as the car stopped, i stretched my hands and said goodbye. ingat, pare was the usual phrase. when i opened the door and started to step out, he called me again. from outside the car i stared at his lonely eyes. i already knew what he was going to say. salamat, he said. drama ah, i replied. we shook hands, firmly, and i closed the door. he turned the car around and headed back towards banawe. we thought that was the last time we'll get to see each other. or atleast he did.

it was there on the corner of retiro and biak-na-bato that i started to feel depressed. even inside the cab, i stared outside the window and thought of nothing but his departure. i felt gloomy. when i got home i texted my bestfriends about how i felt. baka di ka lang nakapag-goodbye ng maayos. true. dont worry, we'll still see him tuesday morning. true.

we were outside his gates before 6:30am today. he was surprised, i think. i gave him three back-issues of FHM, something that he loved reading at my house and would hopefully remind him of me while reading it(not using it for any other 'activity'). we weren't supposed to accompany him to the airport, but since there was still room left in the van, we went. it was a particularly quiet ride.

the emotion poured out of everyone when their bags and boxes were being unloaded from the cars. i hugged and said goodbye to the entire family. ingat kayo ah, was still the phrase, and i meant every word of it. i was trying to keep myself from crying. i'm not supposed to be here. ayokong maiyak. i have never been close to another family before, and the idea of me never seeing them again brought out the tears. i tried to hide my eyes behind my aviator specs. i hugged him and said goodbye. babalik ka ah. ingat ka. ingatan mo pamilya mo.

we don't know whether he would be coming back or not. even he wasn't so sure about it. it was this uncertainty that caused us to feel this way. his animated stories would be sorely missed. his conversations about rubber shoes, basketball, the NBA, cars, girls(nude and non-nude), scandals, websites, tsismis and more. lsqc. rufino, greenbelt and almost half of makati. lrt/mrt. pbb auditions. ateneo chic-hunting. nestle creamery. "window-shopping." paradise. galera. samat. palanan. practically everything and everywhere. simply put, we all enjoy his company. i know i do. and i would hate to refer to our friendship as dati, nung nandito pa siya, or bago pa siya umalis.

hihintayin ka namin sa september ha. wag mong kalimutan yung $500 na pang-GB.

ingat pare.