Adolescence is the time for self-discovery, the time for identity-searching which can be deepened through interpersonal relations with other people, especially that of the opposite sex. But, steady dating among adolescents, by definition, prevents them from searching and finding this identity and hinders them from developing their interpersonal skills towards others. Therefore, steady dating during adolescence is tantamount to social suicide.
This could very well be the battlecry of all single adolescents. but this is also our first topic in theo. (I'm really glad that i chose Tejido, because as a matter of fact, he is one of the best out there, and its too bad that he is retiring after this semester) do i need to explain what steady dating is? i guess not. a lot of us (or should i say a lot of you! ahaha) have experienced this: having an exclusive relationship for a long period of time. Dr. Tejido goes further by stating two other factors that comprise steady dating: no definite plans of getting married in the near future, and with some genital intimacy or venerial activities allowed. so how does this kill our social lives? instead of nurturing our relationships with our friends, "especially that of the opposite sex", we end up focusing our time and attention to only one person. face it, we've all had friends who we always hung out with, but when he or she decided to have a bf/gf, you suddenly don't see each other that often anymore. To drive the point, Dr. Tejido wants us to broaden our horizons and not to be limited by one person.
As the interactive lecture went on, people started to ask a host of personal questions. One of those questions stood out and had everyone's attention: What if we do as you ask, sir, and we develop and nurture our friendship with a girl. We go out with a lot of girls, and we find one that we have a lot of common with one. We go out some more, and we find ourselves becoming best friends. The usual next step to that, sir, is falling in love. There is still a possibiliy that we could fall in love with each other, right? What should we do if that happens?
bang, bang. we all fell silent. probably because at one point in our young lives, we all felt this feeling. we all know this story--the bestfriend story. doesn't always end up happy, and sometimes it doesn't end at all. so Dr. Tejido raised his left hand, calling for attention, and spoke softly. I visited my friend in Xavierville a couple of weeks ago. She has been a friend of mine for a very long time now. Niligawan ko nga dati, pero di pa raw siya ready. But then we became very good friends. And to be honest with you guys, she knows me very well. She knows me better than my wife does. Love does not need to be conjugal, to be technical about it... My love for my wife is very different from my love for my children. You have to understand that and take note of the difference... We have to remove our preconceived notions about love and relationships... We have to correct the misunderstood nature of friendship... His speech was a lot more convincing in person, and i'm sorry that the lines above are all i can remember. Simply put, all relationships do not necessarily have to lead to romance and conjugal love. dating, no matter for how many times, does not mean that a boy is going to court a girl. a deepened relationship, with friends, will lead to a better understanding of one's self, one's identity.
...
St. Thomas Aquinas shared that among all the external possessions of a person, friends are the most precious. and if ever a friend was stolen from a person, by any means--verbal or otherwise, it would have been better if the person had been stripped of all his material belongings.
this entry is for all of you whom i consider FRIENDS.
i found myself in you. i love you.
This could very well be the battlecry of all single adolescents. but this is also our first topic in theo. (I'm really glad that i chose Tejido, because as a matter of fact, he is one of the best out there, and its too bad that he is retiring after this semester) do i need to explain what steady dating is? i guess not. a lot of us (or should i say a lot of you! ahaha) have experienced this: having an exclusive relationship for a long period of time. Dr. Tejido goes further by stating two other factors that comprise steady dating: no definite plans of getting married in the near future, and with some genital intimacy or venerial activities allowed. so how does this kill our social lives? instead of nurturing our relationships with our friends, "especially that of the opposite sex", we end up focusing our time and attention to only one person. face it, we've all had friends who we always hung out with, but when he or she decided to have a bf/gf, you suddenly don't see each other that often anymore. To drive the point, Dr. Tejido wants us to broaden our horizons and not to be limited by one person.
As the interactive lecture went on, people started to ask a host of personal questions. One of those questions stood out and had everyone's attention: What if we do as you ask, sir, and we develop and nurture our friendship with a girl. We go out with a lot of girls, and we find one that we have a lot of common with one. We go out some more, and we find ourselves becoming best friends. The usual next step to that, sir, is falling in love. There is still a possibiliy that we could fall in love with each other, right? What should we do if that happens?
bang, bang. we all fell silent. probably because at one point in our young lives, we all felt this feeling. we all know this story--the bestfriend story. doesn't always end up happy, and sometimes it doesn't end at all. so Dr. Tejido raised his left hand, calling for attention, and spoke softly. I visited my friend in Xavierville a couple of weeks ago. She has been a friend of mine for a very long time now. Niligawan ko nga dati, pero di pa raw siya ready. But then we became very good friends. And to be honest with you guys, she knows me very well. She knows me better than my wife does. Love does not need to be conjugal, to be technical about it... My love for my wife is very different from my love for my children. You have to understand that and take note of the difference... We have to remove our preconceived notions about love and relationships... We have to correct the misunderstood nature of friendship... His speech was a lot more convincing in person, and i'm sorry that the lines above are all i can remember. Simply put, all relationships do not necessarily have to lead to romance and conjugal love. dating, no matter for how many times, does not mean that a boy is going to court a girl. a deepened relationship, with friends, will lead to a better understanding of one's self, one's identity.
...
St. Thomas Aquinas shared that among all the external possessions of a person, friends are the most precious. and if ever a friend was stolen from a person, by any means--verbal or otherwise, it would have been better if the person had been stripped of all his material belongings.
this entry is for all of you whom i consider FRIENDS.
i found myself in you. i love you.
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