normalization

Lately I just realized that I’m not so normal after all. The past years I’ve been trying to be what most people call ‘regular’. I’ve been trying to fit in the norm. I’m not indifferent to all the “we are all different” and “we are all special” crap. Indeed, I totally believe in those phrases. But there’s another thing i believe in that most people either won’t consider or flat out denies. We all want to be normal. We all want to be regular. Before we even strive to make ourselves different, to make ourselves standout, we have to know that first and foremost we are all the same. That is what I have come to accept through my 21 years, 10 months and 25 days of living.

In college I learned that one of the most efficient ways of analyzing a system of integrated processes is through about making entity-relationship diagrams (ERD). With an ERD I can see the various entities that interact with the system, and I can see the relationships of these entities with one another. But what is interesting is that after plotting out all the entities and the relationships, you have to ‘normalize’ the diagram. Remove the redundancies; make the entity as specific as possible. Through normalization you group all the data attributes together to form simple and non-redundant entities. Is that what this is?
Are we entities moving in a human system, building relationships with each other, all the while normalizing and grouping ourselves? And that isn’t even the saddest part. The saddest part is that even our relationships tend to be normalized, too.

This is what I choose to believe in. I choose to believe that we are all innately different, and we travel down life’s path trying to find our norm, our group, and eventually turn out to be the same as everyone else. But after all of that, after reaching a normalized state, after being normal, we find ourselves wanting more. More than just being normal or regular. Only then will we want to truthfully differentiate ourselves from everyone else.

Normalize. And then differentiate.

a tribute to the blue and white

And so it ended in two games. We played our rivals in four games this season. We did not lose focus. We never blinked. Not even once.

It was a valiant effort, nonetheless, for the opposing team and defending champions. They came at us like wolves hungry for a kill. From the onset they put tremendous pressure against us, and slowly the eagles started to succumb. Error after error, mistakes after mistakes, the frustration piling. Not without a fight, said the star archer, who gave a commendable performance as he tried his best to carry the archers on his shoulders. But with everything said and undone, the toughest of men survived. The rightful champions emerged victorious.

The Mentor

It all started with him. The process it took to mold one of the best teams to ever grace the league, one of the best teams to ever wear the blue and white armor. Four years it took him, after he jumped from coaching in the professional leagues to teaching in the collegiate. Four years, that included a lot of defeats, injuries, expectations, disappointments, pressure and letdowns. Some wanted him to be better, some wanted him out, but all he wanted was time. Time to mold the freshmen he coached four years back to wise, mature senior basketball players. Time to show them that his system works.

The Team

Individuals did not win today. Players did not win today. The Team won today. With the key players in key positions playing in key minutes, the opposition did not stand a chance. They might have had a menacing and often effective full court press at their disposal, but our stronghold half court defense could not be penetrated. We had arguably the best starting five in the league, full of offensive power and defensive agility, and our reserves were beaming with high potential and understated talent.

The Rookie

He was the hype. He created excitement and generated buzz among peers. Spectators, players and even coaches all gazed at the amazing potential this man has. Coming from a sensational junior career, expectations were set high. By the end of his first senior season, expectations were met. Is this a sign of things to come? Now everyone is waiting to see what more this man can offer.

The Center

Undoubtedly the most improved player of the year, he came as the big tournament surprise as no one expected this man to perform as well as he did. And surprise eventually grew to amazement, as he truly became the center of attention for opponents matching up with us. What looked like a boy the past seasons matured to a man, overnight, and is now likened to the unstoppable force of gravity. He was our man on the offensive, putting up shot after shot, sinking them one by one. He was crowned most valuable player of the season and will be a force to reckon with for one more year.
The Anchor

Throughout the season, his efforts were seen more on the defensive end than on the offensive. He is the anchor of our defense, the true testament of a solid, dedicated player. He stood ground whenever the opponents mustered the courage to go against him. He flew, like the eagle that he is, whenever an archer decides to raise his bow and aim. Time after time, they threw up prayers against him. Time after time, he rejected them. It is only befitting to declare him the most valuable player of the series.

The Captain

Even with two most valuable players and one rookie of the year on the fray, we all know that this blue and white team belongs to him. From day one we all had our eyes on this veteran and placed on his shoulders our hopes of a championship. There can only be one King Eagle, and true to form, he showcased the skill set and the values that we stand for. He led the attack on the court, keeping his men focused and in place. He delivered whatever the team needed in every game, and this final game was no exception. He displayed character and composure to keep the enemy at bay. He gave himself to the game and left everything on the court. The game, in turn, was his.

Now, on a hill, between the earth and sky, there stands the bravest. The strongest. The best.

The Captain.

The Anchor.

The Center.

The Rookie.

The Mentor.

The Team.

The Ateneo.

how come

How come

How come I always see you on the other side of the street
Staring at me, smiling, sparkling
I walked towards you
But like a mirage you aren’t really there

How come I always hear you say Good morning when I wake up
Lying beside me, snuggling, kissing
I put my arms around you
With just a squint of my eyes you’re gone

How come I always think of you when I shouldn’t
Talk to you when I couldn’t
Sing to you when I wouldn’t ..
.. even dare tell you that I, that I..

Know that this will never be
A promise wrapped in reality
The stars are set for you and me
So now, how come..

How come I’m saying goodbye to you
Right now, waving, panting..

.. Yet still I’m standing, staying, wanting
Right in front of you.

Awake

by Secondhand Serenade

With every appearance by you blinding my eyes
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do
You’re an angel disguised

And you’re lying real still but your heartbeat is fast just like mine
And the movie’s long over, that’s three that has passed
One more’s fine

Will you stay awake for me?
I don’t want to miss anything
I don’t want to miss anything

I will share the air I breathe
I’ll give you my heart on a string
I just don’t want to miss anything

I’m trying real hard not to shake
I’m biting my tongue but I’m feeling alive and
With every breath that I take, I feel like I’ve won
You’re my key to survival

And if it’s a hero you want I can save you
Just stay here
Your whispers are priceless, your presence is due
So please stay near

Will you stay awake for me?
I don’t want to miss anything
I don’t want to miss anything

I will share the air I breathe
I’ll give you my heart on a string
I just don’t want to miss anything

Say my name
I just want to hear you
Say my name
So I know it’s true

You’re changing me
You’re changing me
You showed me how to live
So just say, so just say

That you’ll stay awake for me
I don’t want to miss anything
I don’t want to miss anything

I will share (I will share) the air I breathe
I’ll give you my heart on a string (give you my heart on a string)
I just don’t want to miss anything.

MNL-DXB-LOS

From MNL..

September 12, 2008. Arrived at NAIA a little after 9pm. Lesley and I checked in together, and then headed towards immigration. And as expected, we were held for questioning about why we were going to Nigeria. There was about five to ten minutes of planning what to do in case we weren’t allowed to go. And a lot of things ran past my mind: what about my leaves? I’ve already used up quite a lot and if we weren’t allowed to go to Nigeria, I wouldn’t have anything left to use until December.. what about my plans? I’ve already set my mind that I would be undergoing a more comprehensive training doing local support for one of our business units, and that I would be doing it with extra pay and extra leaves.. what about my business class flight? Yeah I know this sounds cheap and insignificant, but I really did worry about not experiencing a business class trip.

Anyway, after a few minutes of waiting, we were allowed to go to Nigeria. I didn’t know if Lesley and I were relieved or not. But a sigh was let out nonetheless.

One of the perks of having a Business Class ticket was getting an invitation to the Business Class lounge. It was like a coffee house, but with everything in it for free. I ate some and just relaxed until it was time to board the plane. And when I saw the seats where we were assigned, I literally said “oh my god”. Because oh my god, the leg space/room was amazing. I could easily stretch my feet and legs without having to stand. And then I let out another gasp of unbelief when I saw that I had my very own tv. How cool is that? I was like a kid inside a candy store. But in this case I was just Chux inside the Business Class area of an airplane. Giddy, excited, relaxed and comfortable. Ahhh..

The food wasn’t bad at all. Because the only airplane food I can compare it with was the one from Philippine Airlines when we went to Vancouver. And it really didn’t put up much of a fight with Emirates’ food. Maybe because it was also Economy vs. Business class, but still. I thought the food was really good coming from an airplane. And, to top it all off, it was open bar. Yehey! I was tempted to drink as much as I can, but I got shy of Lesley. She wasn’t a drinker at all, and I didn’t want her to think that I was a drunk. I just.. I just love to have a couple of drinks.. or more. Especially when it’s free.

The personal TV was amazing. I could watch whatever I want, whenever I want. It was divided into three main menus: Information, Communication and Entertainment (ICE). With information, you could view all the stuff about the flight. You could even see a view of the outside similar to what the pilots are looking at or a view of below, as if you were peering directly downwards. In Communication, you could choose to text or call someone from the phone/remote on the side of the seat. And Entertainment, well it was the best part. It was broken down to Movies, TV shows, Music and Radio. Each of them were further broken down to different genres, different artists, different albums etc.

After the light snack I started to watch Prince Caspian, but fell sleepy 30 minutes into the film. I finished off my glass of red wine and then dozed off for four hours. I woke up to breakfast and then decided to watch TV shows. There were episodes from Heroes, Grey’s Anatomy and other new ones. But there was still one TV show that I really needed to watch. FRIENDS. The list had six random episodes from different seasons. I watched all of them, of course, just in time to land and stow away the TV.

to DXB..

September 13, 2008. It was around 4:30am local time when we arrived. And boy, was it beautiful. For quite some time I actually wished that the flight to Nigeria would be cancelled so we’d get stuck here. The Dubai International Airport was more like a mall than an airport. We had fun going around, Lesley looking for things to buy and me taking pictures. At first I was apprehensive about taking photos, but when I saw other tourists doing it, I quickly joined the bandwagon. Dubai Duty Free was the catchphrase, and it seemed like it just slides off of your mouth. DUBAI DUTY FREE. But apparently, the price of PSP there is almost the same as that with SM North Edsa Cyberzone. So I probably wouldn’t buy any electronics here inside the airport. I was told that gadgets were cheaper outside the airport, within Dubai itself. After going around, we decided to spend the rest of the time inside the Emirates Business Class Lounge. Since we were in UAE (Emirates’ hub) the lounge was probably the biggest than with any other airport. It had two floors and buffet snacks as well. I was too full from the food in the first flight so I just surfed the net. I was able to chat with jag and rj, and the interwebs kept me company until we boarded the next flight. The flight that would take us to our real destination.

to LOS..

How I wish LOS meant Los Angeles. But no, it meant Lagos. This flight will take about 7 hours, so I decided to manage my time well. I finally got to finish Prince Caspian and then managed to slip in an hour of intermittent sleep. I managed to wake myself up with just two hours before landing. So I chose to watch Horton Hears a Who that lasted only 88 minutes. With time to spare, I just decided to sit back, put my feet up, pop in some music and enjoy the last few minutes of enjoyable time. Because, truly, at the back of my mind, I was thinking “I’m going to Nigeria”. And the emoticon for that is K.

In the music playlist there was a grouping called “Essential Albums” which listed popular and bestselling albums of all time. I listened to a few of them (just songs, not the entire album). I went from the Beatles, to Metallica, to Nirvana, to Pearl Jam, to Norah Jones, to Mariah Carey, to U2, to Michael Jackson, to Eric Clapton, to Bob Marley, to Ray Charles, and to a lot more. But the final song, oh man, I specifically wanted my final song to be a hell of a song. At the end of the list was The Who. And I only know of one song from The Who, one song that really blew my mind when I first heard it. And apparently, I heard it from House. Baba O’reily by The Who. I just think that its musicality is very very good. Download it, listen to it and know what I’m talking about.

So the captain announced that we were starting our descent, and were about to land in a few minutes. As we decreased altitude, I got to view what Lagos looked like from atop. It was exactly what I expected it to be. So this is Africa.

Red Earth

Even before landing, the first thing I noticed was how the soil seemed so red. Not even close to our shit-brown soil in the Philippines. The soil here was a darker shade of red and brown. And it hit me. From what I read about Africa, from what I watch from movies, from what I see online, it is true. African soil is red because of all the years of bloodshed and fighting over it. I realized that Africa wasn’t a place to be scared of, but a place to take pity on. Now I get why Bono loves this place.

MMIA

No, the MM does not stand for Metro Manila. Haha. We finally landed at the Murtala Muhammed International airport here in Lagos, Nigeria. It was a decent enough airport, and the people who work here are basically the same with those who work at NAIA, especially the immigrations officer: straight-faced and rude. But nonetheless, after immigration we were met by Chevron Nigeria Limited (CNL) partners whose primary work is to meet and greet Chevron travelers to Nigeria. It sounds corny, but meeting them and having them escort us made me feel safer, better. As we went out the airport, we walked to where the coaster/shuttle and the armed escort was parked. While walking, I noticed how everyone was looking at us as we passed. I felt so white.

We left the airport with just me and Lesley inside the shuttle. For the first thirty minutes, we just coasted and traffic was nowhere in sight. That was until we were diverted to another road because some road was being fixed. And from there, I got to view how traffic in Nigeria was like. It’s like 8:00AM southbound lane EDSA times 10. It took us more than two and a half hours to reach the hotel, which was supposed to take 45 minutes only.

Hotel Bellisimo

Not much to say here. It is an OKAY hotel, not a WOW hotel. I guess I’m liking the part where I’m by myself and I can do whatever I want, which is not much given the situation. We can’t go out of the hotel for security reasons, we can’t eat too much because a meal here costs USD20 to USD40. We can’t swim in the pool, well, because we don’t want to. Watching TV with 6 channels will not last you long, and sleeping can be tiresome if done too much. What I’m enjoying is smoking at the bar, with two free drinks every day for guests. Nice. I’m going to try their local beer Star after I post this blog.

This will be it for now, I’ll update you guys again one of these days.

excited

woooo. less than 48 hours before landing in Lagos.

sino excited? akoooo.

rain rain go away

got drenched by the rain yesternight. good thing i was on my way to meet my sister at glorietta so we could drive home together. she was supposed to pick me up at the mall, but she couldn't get her car because the rain was pouring down hard. had to wait for awhile, so i went to digital exchange..

..and bought me an ipod.

impulsive buy much? hahaha oh well, i've been meaning to get me one of those white thingies that ya'll put on yo ears. and it was the cheapest offer i found. and i am super happy with my buy.

this morning i took the day off to fix my things for friday night. it only took me half a day, so i rested in the afternoon. oh, and i set up my ipod. it actually took me an hour trying to think of a name for my ipod. then it hit me, why not "Classic"? it sounded cool, so classic it is. haha

and i just realized, the 160gb of memory Classic has is actually MORE than what Sundown has. woah. I guess i'll be putting a lot of stuff other than music/video/pictures in there.

oh, and please make the rain stop. i don't want to board a plane knowing that thunderstorms are within reach. =|

it just dawned on me..

.. i am going to Nigeria.

alapaap

went to the eraserheads reunion concert yesternight. and it was awesome, even though we only got half of the supposed 30-song staging. the opening song alone was worth half of the ticket price.. ALAPAAP! There was a countdown before the start which brilliantly raised the already pumping excitement from the crowd. I've never been in this big a concert before, so it was definitely electrifying. as the clock struck 00:00, everything went dark. then a small video presentation.. and then everyone screamed as the bass intro to alapaap blasted through the open field. by the end of the song, golden fireworks were raining all over the stage, and then as if on cue, baby rockets lit up the skies.

and then there it was. a most magical scene to behold. a truly once-in-a-lifetime moment. ely, marcus, buddy and raymund. even for half a concert, i was in alapaap.

minesweeper addict

yeah i finally learned how to minesweep! haha

stuck in a training room for 9 hours a day, facing a computer without any access to the "interweb", listening to a not-so-exciting trainor.. i was just left with no choice but to learn minesweeper. (also because i could already do solitaire and spider solitaire)

can you imagine 9 hours of FINANCE/ACCOUNTING.. debits and credits.. ledgers and journals.. payables and receivables.. vouchers and invoices and receipts. gaaaah. what to do? minesweep.

i finally finished the expert game before going beyond 999 seconds. the morning victory clocked in at 740 seconds flat. then the afternoon victory was at 648 seconds. woohoo! twice in a day.

after beating the expert game, i tried my hand at mastering the beginner game. my fastest today was 14seconds. hahaha. and then the intermediate game, my fastest was 165seconds.

tomorrow we'll be talking about standard and advanced invoice entry and general ledger posting. OR they'll be talking about standard and advanced invoice entry and general ledger posting AND THEN i'll be minesweeping. better, better.

new layout

weeeee. got inspired by the simplicity of a friend's new blog. haha. and i didnt want you to get sick looking at my huge face every time you guys view my blog. tatlo na nga lang kayo, baka kumonti pa. =)

that damn smoker's test

i think it was tuesday night when i opened my multiply account and found all these people posting "the smoker's test". when i opened it, it was one of those chain posts that you add your name at the end if you can *hold your breath while reposting*. wtf? oh wait, i think this deserves an actual WHAT THE FUCK? that was the most stupid post i have ever encountered. a survey would have been much better. hell, i could have enjoyed a blank post more. anyway, that got me to think: why do people care so much about smokers/smoking?

i know that its a big deal about health and stuff, but is there more to it than just that? when chandler (yes, from Friends) smoked, he told ross and the others one specific line that i could never forget.

"say what you want, but the bottom line is.. smoking is cool, and you know it!"

yeah i laughed at it, but being a smoker myself (who is now trying to quit, haha), i know for damn sure that there is some truth in that line. no matter how we try to say that smoking helps us cope with our stress, how smoking makes us happy, how smoking takes the pain away *emo* or how we smoke JUST because we like to smoke.. the bottom line is, there is a part of smoking that makes us cool.

maybe that's why people cared whether they pass or fail the smoker's test. or i might be wrong. people are happy when they pass the test, meaning they are not smokers. so if that's the case then why do the damn test? worst part is, some of those who passed the test are actually smokers. again, why do the damn test?

i think i've made my point. smoking creates an illusion of coolness. =)

the last ream project

i'm proud of this. haha. i just bought my last ream of cigarettes this morning. my last ten packs of marlboro lights. my last two hundred sticks of nicotine and tar. and then after that, it's over. no more cigarettes for me. yay! haha

i found out that i can substitute two things for my nicotine cravings. one would be going to the gym. lately, after hitting the gym, i found myself not wanting to light up before going home. especially after i realized that i was having a hard time breathing through 15 minutes of running on the treadmill. my legs are saying go, but my lungs are saying stop. the second substitute i found was tictacs. yep, the mint candy. sure i could pretend that these were nicotine gums/candy, but the extra strong mint flavor leaves me wanting more. i don't know if there are bad side effects of taking too many tictacs, so please inform me if there are.

anyway, i formally started "The Last Ream Project" a while ago by lighting up cigarette number 1 before going home. so i have 199 left. is it wrong that i'm getting excited to light cigarette number 200? hahaha.

wish me luck so i can finally quit smoking. =)

down and out

i feel down. i don't even know if that is a valid sentence, because i haven't heard people say they feel up, but i feel down. and the problem is, i don't know why. and that puts me down even more. i've always been the cheery one in a group. the one who makes everyone else smile and laugh. but tonight i'm down. i don't know if tomorrow i'll be back to normal. it's weird how despite everything great that's been happening to me, despite all the good things that are about to come, despite having nothing much to do during the day, i feel tired and burned out.

i feel like giving up. but there is nothing to give up. this is a dilemma not many of you have encountered. you may sarcastically think "oh wow, this guy has such a big problem." but seriously, this is quite a situation i find myself in.

tonight, i feel down. and i don't know why.

!

putang ina mo ka.

woops hala

turns out, our trip to Nigeria is on hold. due to some things (which i am thinking are political conflicts), the company decided to impose a temporary Travel Ban to Nigeria. hahaha. we'll have to wait and see what our Team Leader's decision would be. me and my partner hope that he assigns us to a different country. hahaha.

on a different note, my current LSS is thunder by boys like girls. i'm studying the chords of its acoustic version. kind of getting the hang of it.

"yooooouuuur eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyeeeeeeesssss... are the brightest of all the colors..."

experience is the best teacher

so it looks like i am going to Nigeria in a month's time. as of now my tentative departure is on the 6th of September, but it may be moved to the 30th of August. i will be there for on-site support to one of the company's upstream businesses. i will be there for 28 days, then be back here for 28 days again. after that i'll be returning to Nigeria for another 28 days. this rotation will happen three consecutive times. my partner, who is about a year old in the company, will be joining me. so this'll probably be part of my training, or rather the culmination of it. experience is, after all, the greatest teacher.

this is really a great opportunity for me. but two things scare me: (1) i will be coming straight off my training. as in my training will start july 31 and end September 5. and the training could also be cut short to last until August 29 only so that i could leave on the 30th. (2) i've been hearing strange things about Nigeria. well, you can look it up for yourself. but i guess the company won't send its employees to unsafe regions. especially if 'safety' is our number one priority.

oh well, come what may. if anything, i'll learn a lot about so many things on this trip. and since i'll be going there three times, i'll have the opportunity to adjust and better myself.

why so serious?

waaaah. ang gandaaaaa.

"the night is darkest just before the dawn... the dawn is coming."

"the dark knight" is the best movie i have seen this year. the best 'batman' film of all time.

heath ledger made this movie awesome. his portrayal of the joker is simply outstanding. lalong nakapanghihinayang na namatay na siya. it looked like christian bale took a backseat to heath ledger's performance, much like michael keaton when jack nicholson played 'the joker'. the movie really did well in exploring the background of each character. and it made me realize how much interesting the rivalry of batman and joker is. the realm of hero-villain was tackled really really well by the movie.

all i can say is that this movie is a must watch. even for non-batman fans.

2nd

i won second place at the company's billiards tournament. it was a race to 5 finals, and the final score was 5-4. yeah, i was that close. but the better player really won. i'm happy to be second! yey =)

i gave my prize, a billiard stick, to the fourth placer. she was nice, and she really wanted to have a stick of her own. so i gave her the stick i won. i wouldn't be able to use it anyway, it was too light for me. i'd rather buy my own. and i think i will buy one soon. hala i think i'm addicted to money. i keep on spending and spending. must save up. must save up.

me thinks we have a future

ateneo won about 8 minutes ago. the first game against la salle, the first game of the season. this bodes well for our blue eagles. could this be our year? maybe, maybe not. but regardless of this season's outcome, i think the ateneo blue eagles will extend their 9 year streak of final four stints and maybe capture a few championships along the way. why?

because ryan buenafe could very well be our lebron james.

you can quote me on that. after seeing him on his UAAP debut (as a starting forward, mind you) i am convinced that he is the type of player you build teams around. he's tall, lean and versatile. he can dribble the ball down the court, he can drive right pass you, he can hang in mid-air and he can either pass the ball or finish it on his own. much like lebron, buenafe enters the league with little skill on shooting the ball from the perimeter. but that can be improved and worked on by the ateneo basketball system. the main difference is that when james entered the NBA, he can already defend. too bad i couldn't say the same thing about the NCAA Juniors Basketball MVP last year. but again, he has four more years to improve on his game.

ateneo boasts of three other prized rookies as well: Chang Kai Shek standout justin chua, San Beda Red Cub nico salva, and vincent burke, a former teammate of Kirk Long from Faith Academy.

the only bad news about this season is that de la salle university now has Zobel's joshua webb, the UAAP Juniors Basketball MVP last year (see how he is the green to buenafe's blue?) he has the makings of a mac cardona: athletic, good defensive player, can handle and shoot the ball, can mess with his opponents head, and most of all, cocky. add a little more height and he could be a rico maierhoffer in the making.

expect buenafe-vs.-webb type of games soon. this will surely add more spice to the already flavorful ateneo-la salle rivalry.

what the heck?

Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.

i came across that while reading a Reader's Digest issue this morning. the brilliance of the phrase is simply amazing, so i decided to post it here.

i also read about the interesting reason behind the usage of the phrase "hands down". apparently, back in the day, the term "hands down" came from horse racing. a horse jockey usually slaps his horse to make it run faster. whenever a horse jockey is assured of the win, like if he is a mile away from his opponents, then the horse jockey would usually just keep his "hands down" and just cross the finish line in style. [ he's going to win hands down ] so now, when the term "hands down" is used, it is meant to say that something/someone is assured of something [ that was the best date i've ever had, hands down ]

spent the evening with fackers (my college barkada) for rj and yvette's birthday treat at Friuli. yum yum. then we stayed at Bo's Coffee along katipunan. it was fun to be there with them again. it triggered memories. fun memories. our streak of seeing each other at least once a month continues. yey.

...

i am totally missing her. jesus christ man, get a hold of yourself (somewhere an officemate of mine is laughing). have i said too much? did i come on too strong? or are you just seriously busy? gaaaah. ako naman sana ang mamiss mo, para maiba naman.

Weak/Sana Kahit Minsan: *i get so.. bakit ikaw ang nais na matanaw nitong mga mata..?*

145, 5-1, 5-2

yeah! i literally juggled two sports awhile ago. i was up for 2 games of bowling (games 1 and 3). and in the middle, i had a race-to-5 billiards match. i had my greatest game of bowling ever! i scored a 145. woohoo. beginner's luck! haha

then the race-to-5 match. my opponent was very very very good. but i guess luck was just on my side. two times he scratched, which led to my two wins. as for the other 3, i'd like to think i deserved it. but it should have been a very close fight, instead, it was 5-1. so i got to advance to the quarterfinals. the only problem was, the quarterfinals was held right after. so my game 3 for bowling would be in jeopardy.

solution? do both. i was literally pacing from the pool table to the bowling lanes and vice versa during the quarterfinals match.pocketing a few balls here, hitting a few pins there. i was having this big adrenalin rush! i did okay for the third game of bowling, scoring 86. but hey, i won the quarterfinals match! yey for me! 5-2 was the score. so from 64 players, we are now down to 4. (thanks to a couple of players who didn't show up)

so much for my 'sick leave'. haha =)

on 'sick leave'

i'm on sick leave today. i had a very piss-ful morning. damn truck spill on Ayala. i did have a minor headache and was a bit warm, but i was decided on going to work today. up until i was stuck at the quezon avenue MRT station for a little less than two hours. phew. i thought what the hell, i have plenty more sick leaves to burn, why not use one now. and it'll give me time to practice shooting with cameron.

on the other hand, i'm starting to think that this 'sick leave' was meant for me. for all but five minutes of the time i spent waiting for an fx or falling in line for the mrt, i kept thinking about her. maybe this day was meant for me to think. think more. about her. gaah. this sucks. i'll write more about her one of these days.

i'm going to bowl and play billiards later as part of the rest and relaxation program of the company. i'm hoping for a good shooting game and zero gutters. zero is attainable. haha =)

superstar

i've never really been a boxing fan. two individuals punching each other just doesn't make sense to me. until i watched the manny pacquiao and david diaz fight a while ago.

sure, i've watched pacquiao's other fights. but never like this afternoon. i was really awestruck at the skill and the talent that he showcased against diaz. for the first time, i had an appreciation for boxing. i now truly believe he deserves to have the distinction of being the first Filipino to win a lightweight belt, and the first Asian to win four belts in four weight classes. good job!

and with pacquiao being a Celtics fan, having Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and the rest of the current NBA World Champions cheering "Manny, Manny, Manny.." probably was the biggest reward for PacMan, who is now a sports superstar in his own right.



*First picture is an AP Photo taken by Eric Jamison
**Second picture is a vidcap Iifound online. =)

meet cameron

all i can say is yey. i finally have you. i can tell that we are meant to be.

everyone, meet my little digital rebel (xsi).

meet cameron. =)

embassy closed

heard from a friend early this morning (like 5 am) that embassy superclub was closed. when i read about it, turns out that another brawl happened. a dj mugged a patron. and that was it. the taguig city government ordered the closure of the super-well-known-club. first thought that came to my head? "oh. okay."

i've never really been a fan of clubbing. the dim lights, the crowded room, the high-as-the-sky priced beer, the higher-than-the-sky entrance fee, etc. most of all, the 'cool' people. i write 'cool' with single quotes because i don't mean it and i'm really just being sarcastic. don't get me wrong, there are really nice and cool people there. it's just that some of the people who go to clubs just come there to BE there. to BE seen. to BE 'cool'. and they tick me off more than stepping on dog shit on a fine sunny morning. 'cool' people should be locked inside embassy and then the city government can close it forever. (oh, they might really still be inside. haha)

the only consolation i would get, if ever i do get a chance to go clubbing, is (1) the loud, booming music and (2) the hot girls--event though some of them are 'cool', the hotness can remove the single quotes. =)

anyway, i'm more of the tambay type. go to a nice place, not necessarily quiet or cheap, but a nice place to just hang out. BE with friends. talk. laugh. make fun of each other. make fun of 'cool' people. drink alcohol. play billiards. bowl. watch a movie. watch dvd's. that's my kind of tambay.

and by the way, good morning. =)

yey.

sorry, another post related to work.

im beginning to think that i did make the right choice to work for the company. in all honesty, i just accepted the job because of the name of the company and the compensation package. that's it. i had no idea of what my job was going to be, of what the people there are like, of what lies in store for me. as long as i am paid by a known company, i was content.

but the company surprised me. very pleasantly. i think i want to stay here for a long time, if they'd let me. hehe. i'm so happy that most of the fresh graduates who were also hired are at my floor. our workstations are actually clustered into one area of the floor, so that makes it easier for us to bond. oh, with the exception of debbie. she's stationed on the far side of the floor, where happiness and new-hire bonding does not exist. so she visits us every now and then.

and this sort of leads me to disagreeing with people who are so thankful for fridays. i mean, okay, it signals a weekend of merry-making and resting. but in this company, we don't need weekends to rest and have fun. that's all i can say. i'm thankful for fridays because of one thing: no riding the MRT for two days. yey.

happiness

i'm just happy that you're happy. the fact that I make you happy, makes being happy for you even happier.

i don't want to close my eyes. i don't want to go to work.

waking up early tomorrow morning would probably be the worst feeling i've had in years. i'll realize that i'm a grown up now.. that i'm no longer a student.. that just because it's raining hard doesn't mean i get to stay at home.. that i have to go to work. buti na lang nakita ko na kung saan may FX na diretso Ayala. at least, makakatulog ako papuntang trabaho. but tomorrow doesn't have to be THAT bad.

lately i realized that i'm beginning to love what i do (or what i will be doing in the future). when i entered the company, i had no idea whatsoever about what line of work within IT i will be doing, or what kind of people will i meet, or what my worklife would be. Now, as i enter into my fourth week of not being a college student or an unemployed fresh graduate, i'm starting to feel that i made the right choice. i love walking out of the elevator onto my floor and greeting Kuya Peter a good morning. i love settling into my workstation and just relax while waiting for my computer to power on. i love going to the comfort room every now and then just to wash my hands. i love morning and afternoon stretch breaks. i love having lunch in the pantry with my teammates/officemates. i love free food during meetings and trainings. but most of all, i love walking out of the office satisfied. fulfilled. happy.

you know what? now that i think about it, i won't mind waking up early tomorrow.

missing people

hindi. hindi sila nawawala. pero parang, ako ang nawawala.

last week i was at ateneo twice. and at the end of those two separate days, i came to the same conclusion: i miss this.

i hung out at fack last wednesday. it was really nice to see the people there again. the juniors. whoops, seniors na pala sila ngayon. haha, kami dati yun. i'm really happy to see some of the current juniors hanging out there as well. now there'll be continuity for fack.

yesterday i practically spent the entire day at ateneo for misa's freshmeat opener. two takeaways from that event: (1) 'maganda' ang future ng mis at misa, (2) gets ko na. i'd rather not talk about the second takeaway, because the first is much more interesting. hahaha. even aglo would agree with me on that one. graaabe. bakit kung kelan wala na kami? sad.

anyway, i just really want to say that i missed (and will be missing) all of my friends who are still there. we'll see each other, hopefully, next year. in the meantime, we'll have weekends. haha.

there is always a first for everything

hi there. i've had this blog for awhile, but i haven't really been writing on it. but i guess there is always a first for everything. this will be it. feel free to look around the previous posts, but those are just some artsy crap i made in the past. haha. i moved them here to be my motivation:

< if i could write such elaborate and beautiful stuff like those, then why am I writing fancy crap like this? >

yeah! i think there are two keys to improvement: motivation and feedback. so if you could write down comments/feedback to the things i write, it would be most appreciated. don't mind motivating me, i think the phrase i just concocted up there will last for a very long time.

why i love to fack

i've been meaning to write this for quite some time now. i never really found the right time or opportunity--with all the bumming and lying around at the house the past days. now, all my friends know that i am not very.. shall we say 'expressive'.. of my emotions or feelings. i've never really expressed or shown to my friends how much i appreciate their presence.. how much i enjoy their stories.. how much i care for them. i can only hope that they do get that. that they somehow have an idea how important they are to me. man, i wish they'd be able to read this before we truly part ways. not that we're not going to see each other any more. it's just that.. with the different jobs and all.. well, you get what i mean.

this is one of the few written works i made where i thought of the title before i had any content. so why do i love to fack? let me give you these reasons.

well first of all, i love to fack because it was my idea to call it fack. i don't remember when and where or how, but i somehow figured putting the words 'faura' and 'back' together. so together with my interest in the taboo (and the fact that 'baura' didn't sound too good), i came up with the word 'fack'. justin even invented the words 'frap' for faura harap and 'fiddle' for faura middle. but most of the time people just use the term 'harap' and 'likod' to distinguish the people who hang out at faura. surprisingly, i seldom use the word fack. in conversations, i often use "faura likod" or "jan sa likod". i should be more loyal to myself and use the words i invented. or else it might not catch on (i.e. "s1nners" that i thought of during freshman year. baduuuuy).

the location of fack makes it a perfect place to hang out. accessible to the comfort rooms, just a flight of stairs away from classrooms and the department office, and just a few steps from the smokers' pocket garden. it's three to four minutes from the caf and jsec and less than five minutes from the parking lots and katipunan. its just perfect.

oh man. speaking of the pocket garden, or the facket as we fondly call it, its another reason for me to fack. we've been through so many things, the facket and i, and when they tore the first facket down, it just broke my heart. i remember the nights when we just hung out there until eleven in the evening. sharing stories, making jokes, 11 is to 1, dancing the papaya on top of the benches, lying down and staring at the leaves of the trees, dreaming, and dreaming big. nothing could compare, really. if i was asked to rank all our moments together as a barkada, being at the facket ranks number 1. even non-smokers join us just to be together. ultimate sacrifice (of lungs and general health).

fack also brings together the students and the teachers. pao and andrei often come to mind when we talk about smoking at the facket, and their stories are unforgettable. sometimes mm, jal and podge join us, and we never fail to share a laugh together. i never would have thought that i would find friends in them (instructors) and all of the other people at discs. someday i'll repay pao and andrei for all the dunhill frosts i bummed out of them.

fack is where i got to know yvette, miko and sam better. the three of them seldom went with us on nights out and so it was only at fack where we usually swapped stories. sam always had a penchant for tsismis, just like what miko has for nba basketball, and yvette has for doing different accents, weirdly. to know them together and as individuals have been one of the true blessings i've had recently.

hanging out at fack wouldn't have been as fun without lance. the laughs, the weird laughs, the awkward moments, the serious moments, the gay moments, the dancing, the gay dancing. we often tease him, but he is truly a good sport. he knows when to be serious, when to be funny, when to act dumb, and when to become funny by seriously being dumb. but to date, my fondest memory of lance has always been singing. out of the blue, out of sync, n*sync, etc. when the bloomfields bug was around, we sang every song in their album. alala mo.. nung tayo ay walang magawa..

when at fack, it is certain that one of the people there will say "yosi tayo". and that would be ian. we call him all sorts of things. jolibee. labs. pipoy. mister popo. but he doesnt get mad. he just flicks our breasts every now and then. this guy should've won crush ang bayan. and all of the boys at fack would be a close second.

i also love that within fack, there are still subgroups like that of jag, gino, jp, eric and lloyd. they would sneak a drink every now and then at cantina, but i don't mind. i join them sometimes, and those were memorable drinking sessions. especially that night. that unforgettable night when gino.. nevermind. it's good to know that when i have a problem, i could always turn to them--look up at eric as he sways and flaps his shirt--for a drink or two.

and who could forget about the pout that made the world go "awww". i became friends with tracy--who is probably the sweetest girl i know--at fack. so don't think that fack is for MIS only. we do have IS people who hang out there (tracy and aaron, who is an amazing graphic designer) too. fack is also the place where tracy found her bitch in AJ. the two of them are so lucky to have each other, and i seriously hope that they fall deeper in love with each other.

from the moment that i learned that we were going to be on the same english block, i knew that rj would be one of the friends that i'd keep. i even accompanied him to stella maris on a stormy day just so that he could get his ex-gf's acet application form, only to find out that it was still incomplete when we submitted it in xavier hall. i often joke about how he influenced me to smoke again, but the truth is, i influenced him. that afternoon at meatshop, where a few of my blockmates started to hang out, i urged him to buy a pack so we can share. but hey, i'm not sorry. it is obvious how much rj loves cigarettes. i tease him a lot--ok more than a lot, maybe everytime? always? ok! with every word he says i find something to joke about. haha.--but i only do that because i know that he can take it. that he can poke fun at himself for the amusement of others. much like me. we've been through many ups and downs, but i've never thanked him or let him know how great a friend he is. someday i will.

of all the people in fack, i least expected that this guy would be one of my closest friends--what with all the rides we shared with a chic named corinne. the first time i met justin, at lance's birthday party, i really believed that he was gay. only to find out that sometimes, i was right in believing. we shared many nights together--not sleeping--but drinking, playing billiards, eating and smoking. we even had a "what if" night with jp. just like all of my close friends, justin can already finish the sentences i start with, and he can quickly get what i'm about to joke or poke fun at. one look is all it takes for me to communicate a joke to him. he's probably the ultimate guy buddy, if only he wasn't gay--sometimes.

fack wouldn't be fack without debbie. the smartest person i know, she's probably the person who has seriously been through a lot the past year. and i was there with her. the best thing about debbie is that she's not afraid to be vulnerable. she opens up. she fights. she's brave. and that is the very thing that i cannot do. the very person i'm striving to be. and simply talking to her makes me, in some ways, brave as well. she doesn't know this, but i am so proud of her. so proud of her achievements. so proud of who she is, of who she is becoming. i literally stand in awe of this person. and to have debbie as one of my closest friends is something i will be eternally grateful for.

if you're thinking that the people i mentioned above are the only ones who are at fack, you are mistaken. the juniors (well now seniors) also keep us company. hubert and his laptop--though almost everybody had laptops, patty and her golden mop-like hair, keziah and her red everything, kim and her perky personality, elie and his, well, personality, tope and his jin, jin and her tope, and all the other people that keep fack alive.

so in summary, this is just a long 'thank you' to all the people that hung out at fack. to all the people that came by, that passed their time at fack. to all the people who at one time or another stayed at fack just because. they don't know this but them just being there makes me happy. and that they're the reason why i love to fack.